


Oh dear

by snufflesmajor



Series: tumblr stories [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, First Christmas, First War with Voldemort, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 09:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14375568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snufflesmajor/pseuds/snufflesmajor
Summary: James brings Lily home to meet his parents (and Sirius, who already knows her but he hardly sees how that's a point).





	Oh dear

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted to my old account. As I have a new AO3, I'm reuploading all my HP fics (of which there are few).

“Listen Prongs, I know you thought this was a good idea. And I know you’ve dreamt about this happening for years if you’re private pillow chats are anything to go by.” Sirius leaned forward in his chair and pointedly ignored Lily’s incredibly uncalled for pouting. Just because she was there did not mean she was a part of this conversation. “But it’s a terrible idea, not to mention confusing.”

   Lily was kind enough to prove just how awful she was by huffing, so Sirius gestured toward her with a hand and just about smacked her in the face. “See? Terrible And everything mixed up enough already without her dramatics. It hasn’t even been a full day yet and everything is already ruined.”

   “When was it confusing?” James, bless his big, stupid, easily corruptible heart, had the audacity to scoff. “You two don’t even look alike.”

   “While I agree with you—given the huge massive gap between our levels of attractiveness—no offence, Evans.”

   “Nice to know you’ve finally admitted I’m prettier, Black.” Lily said, because she was awful.

   “No, look, Prongs! This is what I’m talking about!” Sirius jabbed a finger at Lily, continued to be inappropriate, what with her happiness and joy and understanding. Christmas was about none of those things, and it was downright rude of her to ignore that. “And she has the audacity to answer to ‘sweetheart,’ ‘dear,’ and all the rest. It’s disgusting behaviour, James. Absolutely disgusting.”

   “Wh-is this because of Mum?” Lily’s highly inappropriate mood was apparently contagious, because instead of taking the matter seriously, James started to laugh. Obviously, he’d gone mad with some sort of venereal disease. “She was talking to Lily! I don’t think she’d compliment you on your dress, mate.”

   “You don’t know that.” Sirius said. “Your mother and I… we’ve a special connection, James. A connection no man can explain, but all men envy.”

   “You weren’t wearing a dress, Pads.” James said, as if that had anything to do with it.

   “You know nothing of our private jokes.” Sirius said, like the patient person he was. “They’re too evolved for your cavemanesque thinking.”

   “Oh, right. Of course. I understand.” James said, though he didn’t look as though he understood at all. “When Mum says, ‘That’s such a lovely dress, dear. Your mother must be proud to have such a beautiful daughter,’ she’s referring to you and your mother?”

   “All part of the joke.” Sirius said. “It’s a code.”

   “Potter, I told you when you first took me to Hogsmeade that I wanted us to be exclusive and only see each other.” Lily said, then nodded toward Sirius. “If I’d known you were already seeing someone… I’d never wanted to be a homewrecker.”

   “I’m so glad you understand, Evans.” Sirius turned to Lily with a soft expression and gently held her hand. “So you’ll be leaving immediately?”

   James let out a rather high-pitched sound of protest and just about fell out of his chair. Lily smiled in the most heartbreaking way as her eyes misted over, then slowly shook her head. “It’s my destiny, Black. We can’t ignore the hand fate has dealt us.”

   “I won’t stand for this!” Sirius declared as he ripped his hand away from Lily’s and rose to his feet. He pointed straight at her and looked to James, who had stopped his panicked flailing and started laughing again instead. “It’s time to choose, Potter!”

   “Choose?” James asked. “Pads, take a se—”

   “Yes, choose!” Sirius said. “Which of us is your mother’s favourite?”

   “What?” James said. “What does that—”

   “Which, James?”

   “Uh,” James looked between Sirius and Lily with a desperate sort of expression, but Sirius was of no help and Lily only shrugged, “she doesn’t know Lily that well, so I guess you are?”

   “Wrong, Potter.” Sirius said. “It’s me.”

   “I literally just said—”

   “He’s right, James.” Lily said. “Out of the two of you, Black is definitely the favourite.”

   “What? Where did I come into this?”

   “He did say ‘us’.” Lily said.

   “It’s true.” Sirius said, then gave Lily a very obvious once over. “You’re quicker than Potter.”

   “It isn’t hard to be.” Lily said.

   “I’m sitting right here.” James said. “And let’s not go crazy—”

   “So it’s crazy for me to be smarter than you?” Lily turned her whole body toward James, who looked as though he’d been slapped in the face.

   “What?! I didn’t—”

   “I cannot believe how you’re behaving, James.” Sirius said. “Absolutely disgusting way to treat Evans.”

   “I didn’t—” James, bless his big, stupid heart, gaped like a fish. He didn’t seem to believe Lily was upset with him, and was clearly attempting to figure out how things had gotten to where they were. “I’m not—”

   “Black, I think I need some time away from Potter.” Lily said. She held out a hand and waved it about until Sirius held it and she pulled herself to her feet. “I might make some tea. Would you like a cup, dear?”

   “Only if it isn’t any trouble.” Sirius smiled, then kissed the back of Lily’s hand.

   “OI!” James yelled as Lily left the room. “DON’T YOU TREAT MY WOMAN LIKE YOU TREAT MY MOTHER!”

   “With respect, you mean?”

   “That’s not what I meant!” James yelled again, but it was void of anger and full of obvious confusion. “You didn’t even want her here!”

   “Of course I wanted your mother he—”

   “Lily!” James said, then ignored Lily for the first time in his life when she answered him. “You didn’t want her here!”

   Sirius, patient man that he was, laid a hand on James’ shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Evans is a good sort, and she knows what the pecking order around here is, so I don’t know what would have given you that impression.”

   “Is—is this because she said you were the favourite?”

   “Those who tell the truth should be rewarded.” Sirius said as he reclaimed his seat and leaned backward. “And she called me ‘dear’.”

   From the kitchen, James could hear his father’s voice followed by Lily and his mother laughing. In front of him, Sirius was playing with a greeting card hidden in his pocket (something he hadn’t shown James yet and seemed to be hiding, but Sirius never could hide things from James) and smiling out the window. Nothing made sense and there was no reason the serious conversation (pun intended by Sirius when he’d called it as much in order to assemble James and Lily) had gone the way it had, or for Sirius to be so willing to let things go.

   Unless…

   “So you think she’s all right, then?” James asked quietly, careful not to be overheard.

   Sirius stopped his fiddling and let out a heavy sigh. “As much as I hate to say it, yeah. Evans is all right.”

   “Any other bird would have slapped you for acting like that.” James said.

   “Evans isn’t just some bird though, is she?” Sirius said. James, the sap, got a bit pink in the ears and Sirius took that for a yes. “If she was, then it’d be good riddance. Whoever you end up with has got to be prepared for this, haven’t they?”

   “Yeah,” James chuckled. “She’ll have to marry all four of us.”

   “Poor thing.” Sirius shook his head. “I’d always thought Evans was smart, but she’s just as daft as—”

   “Sod off, Black.” Lily called from the door. “If anyone here is daft, it’s you for styling your hair like that. I can see your dandruff from here.”

   “OI!”

   As Sirius fled the room in a righteous huff, James smiled over at Lily, who somehow seemed to understand what in the Hell had just happened.

   If she was as daft for him as he was for her, then that was hardly a bad thing.


End file.
